To Be The Person I Was Created To Be, by Kyle Wireman

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Hello, my name is Kyle Wireman.  I am thirty years old, from Bucks County, PA, and I am currently serving a 4.5-9 year sentence in state prison.   This is a story about how my broken road led me here, and where I am now.  I’ll skip the early years up to the point where now I am twenty-seven years old with two young children, a boy and a girl.  It has been over ten years of resorting to drugs and drinking to make myself “feel better.”  From ages 25-27 I was completely sober.  I relapsed after a knee surgery on my ACL from a sports injury.I was coaching varsity wrestling at Pennridge High School.  I decided to enter an open tournament with my son and a few of the kids that we worked with.  I ended up with torn ACL/LCL ligaments and had surgery on my left knee.

While in recovery I had non-narcotic pain medication prescribed, but it did not cut it!  So unfortunately I went to find a new doctor and Percocet…and was off to the races.  One pill was too many, and 1000 weren’t enough.  It happened fast.  My priorities changed.  I lied and I stole.  I had hidden agendas.  All that mattered was my agenda, keeping myself numb and not “sick” from withdrawal.  If I didn’t have my pills, I literally couldn’t get out of bed.  Addiction had me strong.  A few of my friends used too, heavy like me:  300-400 mg of Percocet a day.  At the end of my disastrous run I was combining Meth into my daily habit.  Anyway, on November 2nd, 2015 I bought three pills off the street:  three 30 mg. Percocets.  I was heading to a pool match out of town and I stopped by at my best friend’s house.   It was only about two minutes down the road from my destination.  I had just finished remodeling the entire second and third floors at his house.  We did it together – by trade I do carpentry and he does heating and cooling systems – so we worked on it together. I stopped by unannounced as I usually did if I was in the area.  We talked about the construction, sports, and we also shared the pills I had bought earlier that night.  I left his house after a short stay and went to my pool match.  Two days later I got an earth-shattering phone call from another friend of mine, telling me that “Justin” (name used for privacy) was gone.  He had overdosed.  I later found out that the pills I bought were counterfeit.  We believed we ingested Percocets; in reality, the pills were pressed Fentanyl made to look like 30 mg. Percocets.

This was, and I believe will always remain, the lowest low of my life.  I lost a friend who was like a big brother to me, and I was responsible for giving it to him.  My entire body felt broken:  mind, body and soul.  My life felt destroyed.  People that had changed my diapers as a baby didn’t know what to do, except to demand justice.  And what they wanted was for me to pay!  So many people that I loved and trusted betrayed me, talked about me, and despised me.  I received death threats, and felt like a monster.  I drugged heavier, and drank to delirium.  I will carry this with me for the rest of my life.  I was so disoriented that I started to trust people who actually only wanted to hurt me.  But I was so badly in need of a “friend” that I was blinded by their deceit.

On the night of November 21st, 2016 I ended up overdosed and barely alive in a stranger’s house.   EMT’s were finally called.  They estimated that I was unconscious for eight hours.  I had a stroke, liver failure, kidney failure, and other complications.  I flat-lined twice, and reached the point in the ER where the doctor told my girlfriend that if I coded again… they were not going to revive me.  Well, by the grace of God that never happened.  My body temperature finally rose enough to allow them to transport me to St. Luke’s Hospital in Bethlehem, PA.  I was in a trauma center hooked up to life support.  I was in a coma for eight days.  The doctors didn’t believe I was going to make it!  I shouldn’t have made it; but I was saved by God’s grace and the power of prayer.

The pastor from my grandmother’s church, along with family and my girlfriend prayed over me while I was unconscious in that room.  My mom, sister, and girlfriend Heather slept overnight in the waiting room.  The doctors even told my probation officer I wasn’t going to make it, and the P.O. actually filled out the paperwork for “death on a case” and showed it to me later.  Everything pointed to the end of my life.  But God obviously had other plans for my life.  I haven’t figured out exactly what my purpose is yet, but I believe I’m here to heal, get better, start a new life, and help other people with difficulties in their lives.  Perhaps working with people who struggle and need a new way to walk like I did.   When my life started falling apart I kept running from my faith, from prayer, from God, from help and salvation.  I kept running from forgiveness, and never asked for help until I was literally dead on the bed.

That’s what it took for me to see that there is another way to see that God is real, and He loves me. I was blessed by God’s grace that I didn’t deserve!  But I was given a second chance to be a father, son, brother, and husband.  My message is that it shouldn’t take all that pain and destruction, and a brush with death, for God to get your attention.  But in prison over the last two years, I have witnessed a lot of good and bad.  I’m learning every day how to be humble and patient, while relying on prayer and God’s unconditional love and grace.  I am learning how to avoid worrying, and how to pray for all that I need, along with the strength to make it through.

I used to feel so alone, but now I know that’s NEVER true.  I lost a lot, and so did many other people.  But I believe it was all part of a bigger plan that I don’t quite understand yet.  I know I was saved, and if I stay the course I will be delivered.  The pain, remorse, and memories of the past three years will never go away, but through my faith I’m being taught how to forgive and live again, to be the person I was created to be.

To contact me : Smart Communications / PADOC,  Kyle Wireman  NJ6765,
SCI Waymart, PO Box 33038, St Petersburg FL 33733

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