My name is Sherman Sullivan, and blessed am I to be given a platform through the Ministries associated with the L.A.M.B. Squad to share my testimony. I pray with loving faith that if one life is transformed in such a way as my life has been changed, then God through me has performed yet another mighty miracle. Before I proceed, please acquaint yourselves with this important life-altering concept: “There is no other way to disentangle shame from one’s life except through the power of Christ.” He became our shame that we may have courage and confidence in our future, never our past.
Born third of four children, my mother stretched herself beyond limits I will always appreciate and value. To this very day nothing has changed, even at the ripe young age of eighty-eight. She was and is the architect’s model of two parents meshed into one. My father was constantly in and out of prison, so the onus was upon her to be our sole provider. As a result, my siblings and I were always furnished with the necessities. My father was an abusive man towards my mother, and he eventually left us to fend for ourselves. This shift in my life, unbeknownst to me, would shape my life for many years to come.
Mom – desirous of compassion and compatibility – had no idea who she would eventually invite into our home. However, he was someone she trusted, and never thought that in the course of time he would become a wolf among her sheep. I never embraced this man as a father figure, but rather just someone in the comfort of my household who provided Mom a sense of security.
Nevertheless, what my sister and I would suffer over a four to five-year period of sexual abuse would be devastating. To compound the matter, I was furthered abused by someone I considered family (Howard). This trauma set in motion a life of secrets that I would live with for many years as a homosexual. Within my heart I knew emphatically that the lifestyle I began to live wasn’t the life I was created for. Even with the encouragement of society approving this propaganda, I still believed in my heart IT WAS WRONG! Many sexually abused people are blinded by this exaggeration, and embrace the lie which is from the father of all lies,the devil. Our true Father created man and woman and said “be fruitful and multiply.” Men and women alike cannot multiply believing a lie about their identity, therefore hindering God’s plan for their lives.
I remember growing up when being a gay man wasn’t as acceptable as it is today. Well, time shave changed, and that lifestyle has become mainstream. But the truth is that God hasn’t changed. His desire is, and will always be, for His creation to believe that He will love them through any valley and every storm that life may bring. The majority of people in which the circle I traveled are no longer here. But God, who is rich in mercy, preserved me for such a time as this to testify about His saving grace.
Truthfully, I never thought that I would live this long,considering all the toxic exposure I sampled. The enemy really wanted me dead, but God had a plan for me, as He does for each and every one of us who can relate, and are unafraid to tell their truths. I realize that the love I was seeking was always in the One who gave me life, not in the one who wanted to steal, kill, and destroy my life.
My friends, a life lived in bondage to homosexuality is a life that is lonely. It just keeps taking and taking and taking until you have lost all sensibility to the love of God. Jesus is real, and I’m living proof of His love. He’s calling you to come to Him, all who labor and are heavy-laden, so that He can give you the rest that you seek. It’s time to be released from the shame, hurt, and pain, and it’s time for the peace and joy of God to console you as He did me. God wants to tear you out of darkness and fasten you to His marvelous light. Will you let Him?
I often wondered what it would have felt like to be a father. What kind of role model would I have been? But, glory to God, I don’t have to wonder about that anymore. I’ve been blessed to have nieces, nephews, and friends with children who can now benefit from my testimony. I can do that without fear of shame, but boldness with the hopes that it will change lives.
In closing, I truly sympathize and empathize with those who can identify with me, and feel trapped by their circumstances. Once as a victim, and now as a victor, I raise the banner of victory for us all, and declare that “we” no longer have to be slaves to shame and fear. By the grace of God my eyes have been opened to realize that my past is not bigger than my future with God’s love and grace towards me. The shame I once carried is not greater than the shame my Lord and Savior carried and died with at the cross. What he has done for me He has already done for you – when you received His amazing love and grace.
“And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony… ” Rev. 12:11 God bless you all.
By Sherman Sullivan… Send encouraging comments to:
- Smart Communications / PADOC
- Sherman Sullivan / JN 4967
- SCI Dallas
- Box 33028
- St Petersburg FL 33733